When my husband, Jake, handed me a detailed schedule titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife,” I was stunned. After years of a relatively smooth marriage, Jake’s sudden interest in “improving” me stemmed from advice he’d received from his colleague, Steve—a single man with no relationship experience. Jake, however, seemed completely convinced by Steve’s views and proudly presented me with a structured routine that was both demeaning and absurd.
The schedule laid out an impossible daily agenda: I was to wake up at 5 a.m. to make a gourmet breakfast for Jake, hit the gym to “stay in shape,” and then proceed with house chores like cleaning, laundry, and cooking—all before going to my job. And when Jake brought friends over, I was expected to serve them homemade meals and fancy snacks in the evening. The plan not only placed unrealistic demands on me but was also steeped in outdated gender roles that felt like a relic from another era.
Instead of confronting him directly, I took a different approach. I smiled sweetly and told Jake I’d start the routine the next day. Little did he know, I was already plotting my revenge.
The next morning, I sat down at my laptop and crafted a schedule of my own—“Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” I meticulously listed out all the things he expected from me and attached costs to each of them. For instance, if he wanted me to wake up early and go to the gym, he’d have to hire me a personal trainer—$1,200 a year. Organic groceries for all those gourmet meals? That would cost $700 a month. And of course, I couldn’t maintain this absurd schedule while keeping my job, so I calculated how much he’d need to compensate for my lost income—$75,000 a year.
I also added a few extra costs for good measure, like $50,000 to build a “man cave” where Jake and his friends could hang out without disturbing my newly regimented life. By the time I finished, the list was a masterpiece—a financial and logistical nightmare for Jake.
When he came home that evening, I handed him the list. At first, he chuckled, thinking I was joking, but as he read through the details, his grin quickly faded. The sheer cost and absurdity of his demands hit him hard, and he finally understood how out of line he had been.
Jake’s transformation was immediate. Realizing that his ideas weren’t just impractical but disrespectful, he apologized. The lesson was clear: marriage isn’t about one partner “fixing” the other or adhering to rigid routines. It’s about mutual respect and understanding. Together, we tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, we felt like a team again, back on equal footing.
In the end, Jake learned that imposing arbitrary rules and expectations only drives a wedge in a relationship. Marriage thrives on shared effort and respect, not one-sided demands.